• They're Back! Church Bulletin Bloopers:

• Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually
   appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

• Bertha Belch, a missionary fromAfrica, will be speaking tonight
   atCalvaryMethodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way fromAfrica.

• The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

• The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
   The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

• Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the
   recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

• Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things
   not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

• The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
   conflict.

• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone
   who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

• Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

• Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again", giving obvious
   pleasure to the congregation.

• For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
   downstairs.

• Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can
   get.

• Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions.
   She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

• The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will > sing:
   "Break Forth Into Joy."

• Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
   So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

• A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will
   follow.

• At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come
   early and listen to our choir practice.

• Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new
   members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

• Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
   Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

• Please place your donation in the envelope a long with the deceased person you
   want remembered.

• Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

• The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious
   hostility.

• Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

• The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen
   in the basement on Friday afternoon.

• This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the
   Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

• Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited
   to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

• The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him
   their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

• Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back
   door.

• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
   basement Friday at7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

• Weight Watchers will meet at7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use
   large double door at the side entrance.

• The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last
   Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."



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